Why should i try anymore i always fail. He says don't try. He says sit down over there and I'll get u a cuppa, relax I'm here in real live Spirit, you are safe child.

Ive come to the conclusion that i cannot prosper my life with this new-fangled christianity. Nor is it scriptural. Its plain and simply earthly. It attracts by dangling earthly carrots. It doesnt sell Calvary ( i know its a gift).

I want less people in my church who can worship in truth than hordes of ppl driving for hours flooding into my area who follow emotionally. i want a small local church of a few good freinds. how can a pastor ( a single pastor is unbiblical) possibly minister to the amount of people he wants to come in. there is no use in praying for this wonderful pouring out of the spirit and massive numbers if they all go to the one church and sing the same songs and listen to the same weak talking week after week.
Sorry sheperds it isnt cutting it. and i dont have the answer.

Its almost a thing of the past. Will we see another revival in the last days of small local churches again? I think if any martydom starts in the west yes numbers will quickly dwindle.

I want to walk to church. i want to wave out my window as my siblings pass everyday back and forth to the shops and work. i don't want big i don't want potent i just want real. i want family. i want some kind of spiritual relevance. i want every single person to mean something. i want to know every name and who sits where.

why can tthe big churches in city districts then split into street churches, avenue churches again? whats the benefit of 400 over 40? its louder......?

how can we live with our neighbours not ever seeing us go to church at the top of the hill because we are driving 20 minutes away. mindless..... whats this Christian life about?

But however in light of all my ranting to men about men, overall I want to love. That means every soul in every church and not in it too. lol My joy is my awareness of His love.

Carl i like your naked honesty.

blessings in Him

Pete

I don't have my computer glasses on, so I might typo and not makes sense, btw.

This really stood out:

" I have reconnected to a local church and have frankly been startled by the healing I have received as a result of being engaged again."

I have also had the same experience. The healing and hand of God is startling. Sometimes, when I feel so overwhelmed by this startling, I feel God saying "Shhh, don't talk; just sit here and know I'm God", as if He wants me to get accqauinted with the depth of His love, a depth I haven't known. Ever. For the first time in my life I'm starting to see God the Father. For the first time! Imagine that!

He's really doing something significant and special for those of us who have loved him but struggled and it has to do with reconnecting with the body of Christ. It's happening in my life as well.

And sitting in the pain? yeah, I get that. There's nowhere else to go for me now but stillness within it. All my coping mechanisms are shot. It's just nakedness now. I get it. I really get it!

Well, I just want to say that you're in my prayers. Maybe when you read this you can say a prayer for me. Speaking of prayer - wow. I never realized how profoundly significant prayer is - how absolutely powerful. One day, when I see Him face to face I hope to see the actual "substance" of a prayer. I've always been curious about that.

God bless you, Carl. I pray God meets you in a powerful way in those moments of stillness within the pain.

I am a catholic and love the mass but hate the lack of fellowship. I am a christian and have been part of christian community , the vineyard etc. It never all seems to come together.

I belonged to our parish, church, in the choir, etc. The preist said the funeral mass and never once made a phone call, sent a card. Safe behind the ritual.

The christian community was lovely but didn't have the foundation.

Your message hits the essence of what we are missing.