It Blows My Mind Pt. 2
Saturday, July 26, 2008 at 8:41AM I have written on this subject before, but not to the degree that I will now. I am going to share my thoughts on how the church handles the failures of its members, particularly its leaders.
You can consider me bias if you wish and therefore invalidate what I am communicating, or you can consider me experienced and knowledgeable, or you can simply read what I write here and argue with it, or lend your support to it; it certainly makes for a good discussion.
Let me write up front that I know not every church system handles things poorly every time, but, in my opinion, too many do most of the time. The movement that I was involved with is notorious for its lack of success in dealing with failure by its members, as are many other evangelical churches, to say nothing of the mess the Catholic church created for itself by going to the other extreme and shielding sexual predators from the repercussions of their transgressions.
Here is what I have seen happen and continue to see go on, much to the shame of the Body of Christ. All too often the response to one's failure is shock and dismay, followed by punitive actions. All too often every good thing a person has done for decades is wiped away by minutes, days, months of actions. Rarely is it considered that the price a person has paid for serving for years and years, constantly being called upon to give, sacrifice and serve, might contribute to a person's failure. The complicity of the congregation's demands and insatiable desire to be feed, cared for and served are rarely taken into consideration. All too often the colleagues who serve with such a person (the staff), or the Boards who work with them are relieved of any accountability or responsibility for a person's failure. It's at this point Paul's words regarding 'when one part of the body hurts we all hurt' is thrown out the window.
Don't even think I am trying to justify sinful and hurtful actions, but the absolutely only time we see in the New Testament a person 'set aside' is in the case of an unrepentant person,
who was 'turned over to Satan for the destruction of their sinful nature', and then of course the church had to be confronted about allowing this person back in once he repented. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in scripture that gives us the right to punish one who fails. Yet that is what we do and somehow some way justify by pointing to what the person has done. I'm sorry where do you find that? In Galatians Paul states that 'When someone in caught in sin', it doesn't say what sin; it doesn't say how that sin has affected you emotionally; it doesn't say only do so if you are not feeling hurt, disappointed or disillusioned! It says to restore such a one gently and to be careful not to fall into temptation. And what temptation might that be? To judge? To exact revenge? To treat a person harshly?
Years ago I observed the failure of a prominent minister that I was both familiar with through his radio ministry and my occasional attendance at his church. It was very clear even to my 12- year- old daughter that this man was distant, arrogant and filled with pride. Yet he was treated like a celebrity by all those who served around him. His Board failed to hold him to account. His staff was fearful of him and therefore failed to be honest with him and his congregation adored him. I'm sorry, but is fear of a leader justification for Board members to acquiesce and literally vote for something they are against? Does the fact that the Pastor will get angry with them justify their abdication of their responsibility to the congregation? Sorry, but if you are not man or woman enough to hold to your convictions and not violate your conscience, then resign right now. Don't wait until the person who was leading lay bleeding on the ground to walk by and kick them when you very well may have contributed to their failure.
When a leader fails or for that matter when a member of the body of Christ fails, do they do so in complete and total isolation. Do you know how many times I have heard after the fact ' well I knew there was something wrong....' Really? Ever read Matthew 18...if YOU see someone in sin GO TO HIM...
I have a friend, I have mentioned before. He has failed, screwed up, sinned, whatever you want to call it. For decades he has been known as a man of character, generous, faithful, you name it.
In a matter of months he has taken a nosedive, and hasn't been doing well at all. So do those few months wipe out decades of faithful service? In the church it certainly does. People back away like someone has a communicable decease. All the while justifying their lack of support, help, care, concern and graciousness as a result of their shock, their disappointment, the sense of betrayal they feel towards this person. Baloney! I cannot think of any justification for such actions. Before the Lord, what if your life, your actions, your heart were exposed to the glaring lights? Could you cast the first stone? Have you ever considered the fact that if someone has served for decades, has been faithful and without disqualifying faults and now they have messed up, that there is something terribly wrong, that they are not acting like themselves. Wouldn't it be something if we recognized the fact that they have failed, they have sinned, and we need to come to their aid? That we need to protect them and take care of them? What if Jesus treated us like we treat our brothers and sisters who have sinned? We'd all be going to hell as far as I can tell.
What I have seen so often in these situations is the person who has sinned loses much, if not all of what they have--- their reputation, their livelihood, their families, their position and their place, and then we want more! I'm thinking when that has happened, a person has clearly reaped what they sowed; there is no bases for adding to their consequence, none whatsoever.
Wouldn't if be something if one time in one place a church would stand with 'the brother who sinned' that we would walk through the muck and the mess that they have made. That we would act with compassion, grace and mercy, seeking to bring restoration and healing to the person. Wouldn't it be something if we embraced the person in the stench of their sin, loving them without condition, nursing them back to health and protecting them from further attack.
I listen to the talk, I watch the actions, I hear the reasoning and justifications for abandoning the person who has failed and it makes me sick.
I hope and pray in my lifetime that I see the church act like a body, a family, a loving community in the face of someone's failure. I pray that somewhere, sometime that we will 'be imitators of Christ and walk in love, as beloved children.' Amen
Note: Do I seem angry? You got it I am....let me know if you think I am sinning in my anger. I've reviewed this and I don't think so.
Reader Comments (4)
Hi Carl, Not much I could add to this article except that anyone who has not failed (yet!) should carry a trunk full of stones for the rest of us. "No temptation had overtaken you but such as is COMMON to man...1 cor. 10:13
Larry Davidson
Hi Carl, Not much I could add, except that anyone who hasn't failed (yet!) should carry around a trunk full of stones for the rest of us.
Amen brother. All too often the church abandons the person and leaves them on their own...or worse yet...abandons the friendship and fellowship they had with this person too.
I've followed your story and blog for quite sometime after I met you at the Vineyard in Gilbert AZ. You appear to have overcome what you have been through and for that I am thankful as I am sure you are too.
Peace!
Yes Keith, I'm doing well, I haven't been this happy in 19 years since I left Santa Maria, thanks for you comments.