Turning the corner
Monday, July 3, 2006 at 5:24PM July 2, marked 9 years since I resigned as Pastor at the Anaheim Vineyard. The past 9 years have been a series of ups and downs, marked by times of depression, despair, confusion and pain. In the midst of that there has been a steady sense of God's presence and support/favor, whatever you want to call it, it is very clear to me He has been with me through it all. It just dawned on me that I have turned a corner, that things are brighter, I haven't felt depressed nor succumbed to it's grasp in a long time.
There appears to be several reasons for this. First of all is God's longsuffering nature, He has been patient and compassionate at every turn. Another thing has been I have six wonderful children who have kept me going, I could never give up knowing how that would affect them. They are my earthly reason for living. Friends, have made another remarkable difference, God has placed people in my path sometimes for a moment, sometimes for months and a few on an ongoing basis. They have been His representatives and it is amazing how these people have impacted me. I am so glad they reached out, so glad they believed in me, so glad they care, it has made such a difference in my life. Although the number is far less than what I might have expected based on the breadth of my relationship base, in reality it has been a lot of people. Way more than I deserve and way more than most people would have, I am very grateful. I point each of these things out because I hope it will encourage others who are journeying through dark and difficult times. Look for the sign posts of Gods working along the way and take comfort in the fact that He is at work, He doesn't give up, He doesn't lose faith, He never ceases to care. And if you know someone who is struggling, don't hesitate to reach out, even with a note or phone call, you will not believe the difference it can make. I have had phone calls out of the blue that have helped me to make it through another day, when I wasn't sure I could make it another hour.
Pray for me that I will have the time and get the discipline to write and recount all of this as an encouragement to others.
Reader Comments (3)
Hi Carl, that's good so good to hear, praying that you keep turning that corner. Love, Jason.
What an encouragement it is to see what has happened with Carl. Didn't somebody of importance say "he who loses his life shall find it"?
Carl is now a man in far better shape to stand before the "fearful dread judgement seat of God"!! What a merciful God we have to allow all of this in our lives and in the life of Carl in particular.
Nine years? Wow! Seems like yesterday and forever both at once. The most amazing thing is that, somehow, life in Him continues regardless of the sorrows, joys, struggles and all the messiness of simply trying to “be.” God is a merciful God, even when it doesn’t feel like it. I have often websearched the net looking for information on you, not knowing where to look or who i could get a strait answer from or who was “safe” to talk to about you over the years so it was a joy to to find your blog and reading the stuff you’ve been wrestling down ripped my heart open. Carl, I may not have told you, (for that i apologize) how you impacted my life in so many ways and I am pleased to know you are writing. You have a relaxed conversational style that, i think, suits you. By the way, If you get a chance, i know Jan and Mike would love to hear from you. They are still in the same place on Tucana. You are always in my prayers, Rich Braley